©
© youtube.de
"And you stand in front of your canvas, paint your life
you then color,
feel quite healthy. remember to forget you
guest,
no, it drops a not more
you must have long since dispensed with.
Somewhere it is written,
you shall love your enemies,
they embrace and seduce
open your doors.
Come and bow before you yourself,
you suffer a lot to you.
run away from the ghosts of this world, no one follows
you
for your worst enemy you are!
And then you take your binoculars, you, you see the world
huge.
dreams you can not let go.
And you feel so at a disadvantage
have yourself rarely
love and you fall through the sieve.
Were the king is happy, has
were the beggars whom you are.
Come on, try to remember,
because you know that we love you. "
© Text: Rosenstolz
Sunday noon. As so often lately, I was Verena packed into the car and taken to my "favorite family" from the community. Under "What friends are for?" I have these extraordinary people already dedicated two blog entries. So I have not much about the rich food, good table fellowship and the pure relaxation report that you already know :-)
Interestingly, the four children of the family had all left home, the young people come in on Sunday but still them together. Today we were only a "small" group (so around 8 people plus grand daughter) and it was not always as rich Food but also in conversations.
broke at five young people to "real-time service" in the neighboring community. "Trissi, you coming?".
"Och jo." I just had nothing before and I have been very long since been in a youth service. Was high time again to socialize with people.
I arrived and I must admit that I am the general age profile considerably raised. With my nearly 36 Lenzen I was actually twice as old as most of the first set and set times that I am the common youth group songs was not really familiar. My goodness, I was so an "old" aunt, that I no longer knew the Songs of Youth?
would have loved me, but I had no car while a. and b. It rained in torrents, so I sat in the well-occupied room, folded his arms and let the others sing.
Hurrah! There was finally a song that I knew:
"And I thank you that you know and love me anyway." and I sang along. Somehow, I waited for the "religious spa feeling," to the loving arms of God and that I finally felt better, but that did not come really. I really am not the man, who rocks as so often in a positive mood, I had forgotten over the years simply. Which in itself is not wrong. What is the kind of faith, if you're only happy when one is softened through songs?
In the moment but would like to once again had a bit of it.
The preacher mounted the pulpit and told us the "wanderlust" of Christians. He reported on the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt to the promised land of Canaan, and compared the journey of the Israelites with our life.
is one thing I really stayed in my memory: The speaker
said that God often lets us go detours, which we regard as useless and troublesome, but we still keep coming to your destination, no matter how long it takes. Sometimes it is even God's great plan to us our to make detours and he finds the perfectly okay.
I sat upright in my chair and leaned forward. I had never heard so, and probably misunderstood. How exciting!
Anyone who knows me knows that I am right now seems only to go astray. I therefore would not haunt me, I was completely foreign to me at the moment and made very clear.
The sermon was too soon to end and it was again sung songs I barely knew. Somehow I were texts all uniform and interchangeable:
"I thank God, the Creator ... I look at the cross ... I adore you ... you died for me ... I adore you ... I stand before your throne ... I adore you ...". The melodies were also very simple and fast mitsingbar. Nevertheless, I sang with, where I now was already there.
Suddenly I fell like scales from the eyes, because I what actually sang!
Jesus Christ, the Son of the Creator of all things, for me went to the cross because he loves me!
What a revelation for many years of Christians, you may think sarcastically. Had I not all a thousand times over and over again heard? I think the message of the cross says nothing else and has been for over 2000 years!
So what was new?
As Vitali of front called to tell what God had shown us, I slipped back and forth restlessly and suddenly my heart was pounding very loudly. I know that already, if I say something, then this is a "trouble" condition and one day I went to the front.
I said something like,
"We have sung it over and over again that Jesus loves us, and I've heard these songs a thousand times
I am Jesus so infinitely precious that he went to the cross for me and he would have. which is also done if I were the only sinner in this world was.
I currently have a time when I myself can not take kindly.
How I actually get to me not even to love, find me but God who loves perfection, so much love that he died for me? ?
Why I oppose myself from really, if God does not do it. "
And then I sat back down with my beating heart
Verena smiled at me:" Wise words, Trissi "and she was right
.
I had then the song by Rosenstolz picked out and look again found. I'm more of itself has become the worst enemy and I go often with a tone with me that it is frightening.
"You're nothing, you can not, you'll never be what.
Look at you, you fell again, would have you need to know any better?
no wonder that not a man in love with you, so corrupt as you are. Why should I decide the hell a guy for you?
Ha! New items, like, stupid.
You're ugly, you're fat and in general did you not under control. So this will never do with you. !
Stand not to, "etc., etc.
My therapist once said:" Triss, move around, like you would not do it with their worst enemy. Why the hell you make it think so poorly of themselves. You should slowly learn to see themselves as a friend. Do you look good and listen to you, to make himself just finished. "
Wise words :-)
I know that it is a process, even good for me to work around if one has never learned. I do not know where it came from and why I am so critical of myself, but today I once again realized that this must not continue.
I no longer need to define what is in my life, everything went wrong. If the master who created me, not bad thinks about me, then I do not need to do so.
On vacation I read the book "Love, Do you long after the" by John Ortberg and it helped me a lot of good.
Ortberg says there about the "rag doll" of God. These rag dolls have either themselves, "played broken" or have been hurt by others and destroyed. Often they were used only once and then thrown carelessly into the trash. And then they come to the Father and say:
"Dad, I was broke, but look at me at times."
God does not lift with low rumbling voice, his bushy eyebrows and muttered reproachfully
? "Did I not tell you what have you done since Tstststs again ... you would not have known better?"
No, it is not God. He does this rag doll in his hand and gently says, "Well, my dear, then we'll see how we hammer out the back. Is not so bad, it will come back ". And then he takes our broken heart, hurt soul and bruised body very, very carefully in his hands and puts everything back to the right place.
So also was Jesus! . Those who do not believe this should read through once the Gospels as the Son of God met prostitutes, sinners, duties and lepers
In Mark 1, 41, "And when he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, for they were and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd "
He stood in front of these broken people and asked:". Do you want to be healthy, "
And then he healed them without conditions?. without warnings, without reproach.
God loves his rag doll who can not love yourself more and have lost all hope of recovery.
have I learned today again and it made me really happy. So I go ahead and try the enemy in me finally being sent to the desert.
I may love me, because God has first loved me!
The Lord bless us,
Tris
© Tristesse
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