© Lyrics and Music: Rosenstolz, video on youtube.com
"No topic, Melli picks you up at seven at home!"
Stephan hung up and I had a ride for Danilo's farewell party tonight. He has finally found a job in Southern Germany and will move next week.
For that reason he had invited for chili, cold beer and chocolate banana and he really lives in the A *** the world, I was grateful for Stephen's commitment to collect me after work. Even when I go to to buy a car "Need", there are moments when I would have liked one.
Melli invited me to the little daughter Noemi's asleep behind the car and we drove first Stephan from work to pick up and replace the car. I'm going terribly like BMW and could even sit up front.
When we arrived, there was chili and beer for all (Noemi ate jelly, grapes and rice in exchange), we looked for a place and I noticed in the course of the evening, I was up on Winnie the oldest in the room. I'm used to them, especially when I invite young people, but somehow I was the first time today to really. As you know, I'm tight on the 40 (just four years!) And the fact as usual "but" came to be, was the next thing I noticed.
Well, it did not burn without a partner, but most of them were straight times early to mid 20th And these young people are all such wonderful people, I can not imagine that only one of them will stay long alone.
I just really like to have had a partner there. I'll be the last time really well with my single status, but when I saw this very young couples and married couples who were talking, it hit me yet again. Now and then it hurts.
Oscar said the answer to how she was to me: "Hmm Whenever someone asks you how your week was, you say, it would have been exhausting. I think I've never heard of you a different answer. "
And that is true. I'm really kind of my daily life on the Friday evening demanding. The fact, everything (work, home, community, therapy) ever manage alone having to cost me a lot. I'm not 20 anymore and can dance the night no more. Do I not, I celebrated in my life very much. But now I am in my mid 30 and on Friday evening, just tired, especially if the pharmacy has just started the antibiotics season.
When we at half past ten in the car grabbed the little Noemi seemed to me the relationship between Melli and Stephan for granted.
"Do you need the car tomorrow morning?"
"No, we can get the car later, as long as you do not forget the blender, which I have purchased?"
"No, I do not forget, do not worry!" .
A little dialogue, a short "will agree" that made me terribly sad at once. When Stephen told me about his plans, in addition to four children (the second is on the road) times a small house with a garden have to, I thought that I probably would not have so quickly. I live alone in my rented apartment and so far it looks unlikely that this will change in the foreseeable future.
I know not, I had never. With your partner be on the road, talking to agree to deny to live everyday life. I speak with me everything itself. Well, I had roommates and have had a great time with them, but eventually I had to learn to come alone clear.
This might sound awfully whiny at all, may be that I am once again in place, but tonight it hurts me just to be alone. And I think that for this blog and place must be easy to say: I suffer to be still single.
am currently in love I am. Terribly unhappy in love. I know that it can not work out and before your love meant to me, encouraging news posted: No, it's really an impossible relationship, and I have accepted. Still, I love and do not know why this is so. It just happened and can not get rid of me.
But if you love and then finds that you can not have this love and will not do what others have, it does the same hurt even more.
What is the song by Rosenstolz sung so frighteningly fit:
"What keeps my life
If it without you
lives Why do I need to understand
If it still goes on
holds What's love
From Love languid
What it is to keep
When you no longer have
What keeps the love of loving
numb
What should I keep my
If you do not believe me anymore "
I really feel that at this very moment is the love from me and my laughter in the face laughs. And the hurts me. Today, perhaps more than usual
I was envious today furchbar envious that everything did not. Like a tiny sting me longing poisoned by something that I may not have.
Ringtone Rosey is the question:
? What to make of me when my world revolves
faster
think as much thought to thought, but I can not
"
I know, unlike to this band, what can I think I am. I know that Jesus loves me and is just dying for these lonely moments for me on the cross. I know I am not alone in my heart, because God is always there. I know he sees my unrequited love and just as seriously as I do. I know that he is about my sadness as sad as I am. I know he will give me that I mastered myself and get clear.
your friends, that I know everything. Still, it hurt sometimes indicated. And I believe that my heavenly Father not me resents that I'm sitting here now and it simply can not manage today. I did not because the force to. I do not even know where to get them.
I love Isaiah. He writes in his book (chapter 42.3) that God does not break the bruised tube and do not extinguish the smoldering wick. What a promise! What a promise!
Do you know you had last night sure many tips for me, as I could "better" or make "different". What could I use for tricks to push the pain aside, I could convince myself that everything so "is not so bad." Without question, I know this advice and have given them so many times someone.
But I think the best what you would give to me this would be the idea that God will not let myself go broke in my solitude. The candle still burns and will not go out, I know.
And so now I'm going to go to bed and pull the covers over his head. I will take my cat Milo in the arm and just sleep. Interestingly, my little cat is now terribly cuddly. I just had him in writing several times to throw off the keyboard, because he wanted to go to my lap. And I'm sure as soon as I roll myself in my blanket, he will step on me to be petted. God is not sometimes just terribly simple and concrete terms?
is Tomorrow a new day and it will be good no matter how I feel now.
God will help me that I no longer hurts and that I should still be happy.
I liked it very well done, to tell you today may not even know what hurts me. For this I need not feel embarrassed me. Perhaps it would be abnormal not to feel this way?
God bless us! ©
Tristesse
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