"mirror image"
me everything you think
Tell me everything you see
walked Where are you
Do you hate yourself for
When thoughts stayed on were
And your word are
wanted everything already quit
Because the hope just went
What happened then
Were you too often alone
Because everyone who spoke with you
Out of pity went
I never forget you
had only expelled and displaced
Where you walked
are much too often fear
To you and to speak
What happen
Every memory
any escape even the most long way
attributed to you only
you were too often alone
Because everyone who spoke to you out of pity
went Sometimes you come visit me and
remember me from
When was the fear of losing
I've often thought of you
are for where all the wise voices
the your life simply planned
Where are they
And where are all those who preached
The only laughed and up punished
Now they are silent, finally stopped
With the blade in his hand
Were you about to go to
What happened then waited
Have the courage
The returned as hope
how far you wanted to go
Would you never forgive
only out of weakness to give up
What then
happen only because others can not see you
way you really are
How far did you want
go Sometimes you come visit me ....
If you're standing before me today
And I look into your eyes
all makes sense
Without your pain
I had never come to power found
So to be who I am today
Sometimes you visit me ... "
© Lyrics & Music: Unheilig
"I asked God for a little candle for my
darkness ...
... and he gave me
a sunrise. "
© Tristesse
fell in September to me that I had not blogged for months and was really nothing more than" post mirror image "of Unheilig, because at the moment best to fit me.
would have three months later, I say still nothing.
It was clear that treatment success would change my life but I never thought that they could make me speechless. 20 years, I was like lived under a blanket, the pain and grief were familiar to me as friends and as they left me, I was the first time with empty hands.
And then I began to live. For the first time in a long, long years ago I stood in the morning up smiling and went to work. I can not remember when was the last time I was really happy and am completely overwhelmed this state.
My therapist calls this condition "post-euphoria Therapeutic ... if you never learned that one is something very precious, then the new business win self-worth something incredibly powerful. I was blown away by it.
I within 6 months, all the psychological and physical dependencies released, 16 kg and decreased to know what it means to be happy. I knew my "new me" is not and was the last six months engaged in discovering the gloom, as it really is and how well they will be in the future.
"Sometimes you come visit me
And remember me from
If the fear was losing
I've often thought of you
are for where all the wise voices
the your life simply planned
Where are they
And where are all those who preached
The only laughed and you punished
Now they are silent, finally still "
And then, in the last 2 weeks, I have my" old self "visited briefly and told me how it was and that the possibility exists that it ever returns. had a moment I do not watch out for me and it was not long until my soul was again gloomy and sad.
It made me a fear of death.
Fortunately you learn in therapy not only to reduce old and new sites to go up, but his tools to take control and to ensure that the old wounds break open more quickly. This change of mood after the long weeks of euphoria had brought me a moment out of balance, but I knew it, thank God, how I should handle it.
I do not think it's bad if I keep the melancholy in me. I have noticed that it does other good, if I understand your grief. And only those who too have been standing at the abyss, sees those who want to jump.
now, I see very little point in all that I had to do, but I understand that I am credible to those who makes that have experienced what it means to have to live in the dark. I do not think the benefit that I can draw from my past is big enough to relativize the suffering, but I use my experience anyway. What else should I do with them?
"If you stand before me today
And I look into your eyes Could
all makes sense
Without your pain
I never found the strength
So to be today as I am"
When my "old self", my "mirror image" visit me last week and believed he could persuade me that I am worth nothing, I believe him for a while. For one or two evenings I'm broken inside me and I can take me prisoner.
But then I remembered that I, as bschrieben in the song of Unheilig, this page was sent away from me. I wanted to have the old Trissi not, they brought me only grief and pain. Of course they may from time to face the door and remind us "Do not forget me, without me you'd not be where you are now!" But I would never again have to be resident in my house. For this I have simply to long mourned. It's finally the time has come to live and be happy, I've never experienced.
What does this mean for this blog, I do not know, I have to see.
I would like to learn to blog, unless I'm sad, but have fun in life. I've really only written if I was not feeling well and I might make it even to talk with you, if everything is OK? I would find beautiful.
Stay with me, your
Tris
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