We had done a lot for the period from Maundy Thursday through to Easter Monday. Today, we look gratefully back to that time. A colorful picture-book intended to give an impression of it. It concludes with a meditation image that has kept Rev. Johann tenants in the Easter Monday in Belek in the chapel in the garden of tolerance as a sermon. The picture shows the two disciples John and Peter on the way to the empty grave, and her experiences there. The Bible text is in John 20, 1-10 found. Maundy Thursday: Communion Service with the Norwegian community and subsequent Agapemahl
it can hardly reach, is not all clear. I'm on a journey, am And still not quite there. I'm not, I will. is still here, nothing is perfect. I'm looking And you've found me.
And I run, as far as I can. sight as far as I want, because the sky is open to me, because I me feel in heaven. You are my goal, my passion . You 're my route. You are my strength, are And I look for you to to run out, leave everything behind me. you're here. You are my goal.
I understand your ways, back with me just in sight, But in life you have to go forward. you go with a low voice. And I set new goals, passion. What was yesterday, does not disturb more God, give me your power "
I'm getting the spring cleaning in itself I wanted to have done during this week, but I then spent in bed and recovering from my flu. But I had a great desire at last time to clean up and so I have my evenings this week made room by room. And if I start again, then I do it too thoroughly.
I live now almost 4 years in "Casino" and have planned for the corners, in which I have purely looked not seen since I entered: bookcase, wardrobe, video cassettes, DVDs and CDs, old letters, notes, etc. Even the plush animals have been put into the washing machine! They survived the shower and the spin cycle
:-) I have separated me from many things. If I have a CD 4 years is not in my hands, I can confidently give it away or even sell. What do I do with 200 cartridges, old letters, ticket, Recipes, notes? I've thrown away a lot.
old diaries, where I told how I'm doing what I loaded and happy, it was interesting to read how I used to see and what has changed.
And then I discovered the photo boxes! My goodness! What a mess. In times of the scanner you really need more and no negatives that I have all sunk promptly in the trash. But then I sat there, leafed through 35 years of my history and looked at the photos. I threw a few pictures, which are memories, of which I do not separate me.
It was a very impressive journey through time: the movies I recorded on video , had the letters I've received, the many cards and little things, my diary, a 16-year-old Abizeitung, the many photos ... all moved me and I thought about my story.
I'm just in the therapy process of 'deal' with my past and so I trigger one or the other photo or journal entry from 2004 where I had stated that the love of my life had married another woman. People who had accompanied me long, I do not know. Thoughts that were so painful and sad, troubling me today. And so today I sat, surrounded by books and pictures and cried for the many things I missed in my life have them, I like to do more and wanted to which I have never come. I wept for the friends I leave or have left me. I wept for what I wanted to achieve time and what I lacked the courage.
And it constantly urged the "what if ..." - Questions. I was not going on and they still move me.
What if my first boyfriend would not be without me? What if I did not give up on these partnerships so fast? What if I had studied after high school yet? What if I could not get a depression? What if I hard Times that have befallen my family, could have prevented? What if I would have put up after school for a gap year abroad? What if I had maintained some friendships better? What if I was looking for a job in another city?
It broke like a storm is upon me and I could not stop him. I had sat in a mountain of memories and mourning for all that I forgot to failed and discarded.
I could not turn back time. It was bitter.
As I will be so indulged in self-pity, I remembered the song "My Destination" by Florence Joy. I think she has sung at a funeral or a service.
"I'm on a journey and I'm still not quite there. I'm not, I will. is still here, nothing is perfect. I'm looking And you have discovered me."
And as I have understood that just because I made bad decisions on my trip, I have lost nothing. I'm on my way, I'm still not arrived and I can from what I have experienced, learn. My life has made me what I am now so I do not need to mourn. I do not have to be perfect and no one makes this claim to me, not even my heavenly Father.
"I understand your ways, back with me just in sight, But in life you have to go forward. You go silently. And I set new goals, passion. What was yesterday, it does not interfere more God, give me your strength! "
I can things that have hurt me and influenced negatively, can go on behind me. I've no other choice, right? There is no point to dwell in the past and to scourge of what went wrong.
came with the photos that is, the memories of the good things ... Family outings, parties, vacations and the many photos of the Friends who are still a part of me. How can I grieve for the failures and forget the things that I keep? My life has been not only wrong, I made good decisions.
The best decision was to do God always at my side. Even though we had our struggles, I have always known that he is here and with me, no matter where I am gone. The
encouraged me a lot in my pain. This has given me hope. I have many, many years before me. I will meet people who accompany me. I can make every day decisions and new targets are stuck. I can still make a lot of photos, songs and discover Write diary entries.
The sky is open to me and I want to go forward, put my new goals and hope that God gives me the strength to live it. I want to learn from my past and use it to make it better or to maintain them. And I must also learn not to have to be perfect. Who expects me to do? My friends, my colleagues and my family love me as I am, no one has ever told me that I would have to be perfect. At the very least expect that my heavenly father to me.
He loves me, as I am. And he says to me always "Yes!" No matter how I have led my life so far and what is still to come.
"You are my goal, my passion . You are my way. You are my strength, And I look for you to to run out, leave everything behind me. you're here. You are my goal. "
... and as long as it stays that way, I do not have to worry.
